Breaking Necks and Breaking Hearts

Listen, I know all three of you reading this probably already subscribe to Chris Sims’s blog, but on the off chance that you don’t, you need to check out his latest post, which is guaranteed to crack the Internet in half.  I have no words.  None.

Word to the wise: Chris is talking about the most recent issue of Tarot, which means that the post is extremely unsafe for work.  And for your sanity.  Read it and then come back.

Think about this: Of the ten thousand plus visits that Chris has gotten for this post, at least a tenth of these people have clicked through because someone told them it was “the hottest thing ever.”

Think About It, Won’t You?

So I was out last night and my buddy John and I started waxing poetic about mixtapes.  Not mix CDs.  Making a CD for someone is cool, or filling up a jump drive with music, or beaming a song straight into their brains via nano-powered Song Guns, but it’s not a mixtape.  Sharing music in any format is a soul-affirming experience, but there’s something about the effort involved in crafting the perfect mixtape and producing the actual tape - a much more labor-intensive process than making a CD.

We did an impromptu survey and - shockingly - none of the girls in our group had ever received a mixtape from a boy.  So now we have a project: we’re each going to craft a mixtape for about five of our coworkers and also probably for the waitress.  This is going to mean dusting off the dual-deck tape recorder and buying some blank tapes for the first time in years, but I think it’ll be a fun diversion.  And I’ll probably blog some more about the mixtaping as it’s going on or after it’s done - one of the two.

So, Single Reader, tell me about the last mixtape you received/gave.  What was on it?

I like Matt Wagner a lot.  I like Francisco Francavilla (of Black Coat fame) a lot.  And I love Zorro.  Zorro hits two of my very largest buttons - the Batman button and the swashbuckling button - with equal zeal.  I also like Isabel Allende, and her Zorro novel is mostly fantastic.

So, when Wagner and Francavilla were attached to Dynamite’s new Zorro book, I freaked out a bit,  Especially when Wagner confirmed that he was basing Don Diego de la Vega’s origin on the Allende novel.

I’ve been largely quiet about the book since that time, but when it made Rachelle’s best of 2008 list, I resolved to spread the word about how swashmazing it is.  The book is iconic and awesome.  The action, which is all swordfights and horse chases, feels fluid and effortless.  If I had a scanner right now, I’d share the double page spread of Zorro fencing with Sgt. Gonzalez from issue #8, which is basically perfect.

Zorro is one of those books that is probably not getting the word of mouth because it’s simply too good.  There’s no controversy around it, no infamous creators getting into a kerflaffle with the fans, no severely laughable scheduling issues.  It’s just a good, high-quality comic book quietly coming out and kicking ass.

Wagner has really been doing amazing stuff over the past year (check out his Madame Xanadu mini with some absolutely gorgeous art by Amy Reeder Hadley) and the tubes have been relatively quiet about it, at least in the corners I read.  I guess it’s tough to blog about consistent excellence with any real verve.

So, yay, New Year’s.

Instead of having a fixed resolution, like “stop being so fat,” or “post daily,” I’m going a different route and setting some goals for myself.

1. Read: I’ve been reading superhero comics and genre/trash fiction almost exclusively for the past few months, and I need to indulge my other tastes to keep them from atrophy.
Not that what I’m reading right now is bad, but what I read used to be much more diverse.

2. Write: Blog more. Write a damn book, Jeff.  Don’t get distracted from “Must Love Dice,” the serial fiction piece I’m writing for Grok this year.  Finish one of the many comic book scripts that are currently languishing uselessly.  Find an artist for them, too.

3. Stop being so fucking gloomy.

One of my friends has also nominated 2009 as “The Year Jeff Gets More Behind.”  “The Year That Jeff Is More Promiscuous” is a bit clearer, but she’s amused by the slant rhyme.  I’m not averse to that goal either, truth be told, but I’m not putting it on the proper list.

So, Single Reader, what do YOU want me to do in 2009?  Or, alternatively, what are YOU resolving to do?

When I moved off of Blogger and onto Wordpress, it effed up Sims’s links to my 30-Second Recap posts.  So, if you’re here looking for them, my recap of Grant Morrison’s 7 Soldiers is right here, as is my recap of J. Michael Straczynski’s Thor.

As for this year’s 30-Second Recap, I have something fun planned; now I just have to hope I don’t ruin it in the execution.

I’ve been hyper-critical of DC Comics’ marketing efforts for a good half a year here on Conditional Axe, and have griped about them offline for longer.  And it’s gotten to the point where I read more Image books than DC books each month (when Noble Causes ends, they’ll be neck and neck).

Maybe, though, I should give DC the benefit of the doubt.  Maybe they want to craft a long-term strategy that capitalizes on the most valuable outposts available to them.  Maybe they want to create a message that truly communicates with their userbase.  Maybe they don’t want to half-ass it, and rushing in blindly can lead to half-assery.

But I could be wrong.

The DC_Nation Twitter initiative lasted for about 48 hours.  It updated 18 times, 12 of which are links to aggrandizing press about DC.  There’s also one possibly combative reply to Marvel Art Director Rich Ginter and four Good Morning/Good Afternoon messages.  There’s no give and take here, no community, and no promotion of the artists and writers and other staffers under the DC umbrella.  It did help me find Karl Kerschl on Twitter, though, so that’s a good thing.

It’s entirely possible that DC didn’t set up the account; that some zealous fan did, and that’s why it stopped.  But then DC’s publicist is following it.

I would love to see the account come back in the new year with a new direction. I don’t hate DC; I just want them to be better.
EQUAL TIME: Several of DC’s imprints do have a good, interactive Twitter presence - like Zuda - and it’s no surprise that the social media webcomic arm of the publisher is doing it right.

I didn’t go to see “The Spirit” on Christmas day.

I go to the movies every Christmas. With the Coat Rack Tree not making a return appearance this year, it is perhaps my only Christmas tradition. On Christmas Eve, I thought to myself, “I am going to see The Spirit tomorrow, and I am going to write an excoriating blog post about it.” It was barely a thought, more like a cunning, animal urge.

I clung to the urge all the way to the theater. I was going to hate The Spirit and pay eight dollars for the privilege. I would then go home and proceed to be comically caustic about the rage I felt after watching a movie that I knew I was going to dislike before I even sat down in the theater’s lush stadium seats.

I bought a ticket for Bolt.

I don’t know why. I mean, Bolt has Miley Cyrus, John Travolta and adorable cartoon animals and none of those make for destination cinema in my mind. But it’s a strong Disney film, not on par with the string of 90s gems but much, much better than any of the House of Mouse’s non-Pixar stuff in the last five to six years. It’s no Wall-E, but then Wall-E will be very close to the top of my ‘Films of the Year’ list (if I ever get around to making that list, that is). I think I was prompted by Steve’s horrible revelation about the film, and Steve and I are on the same page about most things.

The following night, I went to see a movie with a friend. We saw Bedtime Stories. It was entertaining, if a bit overcute. I laughed. I was reminded how adorable Keri Russell is. It was a good, thought-free diversion of the kind that Sandler has been dishing out of late. It’s no Happy Gilmore or Punch Drunk Love, but - and I guess this is the takeaway I’m angling for here - not everything has to be.

So I set out to see one movie this holiday and saw two others that I never intended on watching. I enjoyed them more than I thought I would and I don’t regret missing the one that I passed over. It was, as Alan Moore would say, “positively energizing.”

I want to be a liker again. I realize that at some point I quit focusing on the things that I like and started paying way too much attention to things I hate. Maybe because it gets comments. Maybe because I was severely unhappy in my personal life and I wanted to do what friends do to other friends: share their pain. Maybe I grasp my vitriol tightly, like a child forcing the last remnants out of a tube of toothpaste, because I feel like it makes me more valid. But all of that is bullshit. I like things, and I want to be vocal about liking them again, not focused on how much this or that sucks.

Of course, there are some bailiwicks I won’t let go. Will I still bitch about DC’s marketing? Probably, at least as long as they continue to do it poorly. But I won’t be bitching about the content of their books, because I’m only reading the books I like now. I’ll be blogging about these things not because I’m some curmudgeonly, ever-vigilant, burrito-eating watchdog, but because I’m a marketer and a comics geek, and the intersection of the two means that I have Thoughts.

I can’t promise an end to the Things I Hate posts, but I think you’ll see less of them. In an effort to keep my New Year’s resolution manageable, I’m going to simply say that I’m trying to correct these things. I may slip. But 2009 has the potential to be one of the best years I’ve had in a long time, and I don’t want to spend it focusing on the things that I don’t like.

My boss at Solid Cactus has started to ambush some of his favorite employees and subject them to a dreaded “six questions,” the first round of which led to some intriguing revelations about a coworker’s, err, um, fascination with Lindsay Lohan.

It was very funny, until the camera turned on your humble Jefferson Stolarship:

Notice how I lied about my TV consumption in order to stall on that last answer.  I didn’t think shouting “I’m Chuck Bass!!!” would have been apropos.

You know, those awesome homemade magazines that have all but vanished now that we all have blogs?  My friends and co-bloggers at Alert Nerd still produce a quarterly (mostly) zine we call Grok.  And it’s awesome.

This issue’s theme is Nameless Horror, and there’s lots of mythos and monsters, but also the dread of picking a screen name and the specter of a committed relationship.  There’s also this thing I wrote about my ride-along with some real-life ghost hunters. And some insane nightmare fuel from Internet pal Stephen Graham Jones.

Go ahead and give Grok a read.  At the very least, print it out and use its 69 jam-packed pages as a weapon or a pillow.  We know it’s tough out on the streets.

Here are some phrases that will not make me more interested in you.

“I love to read - my favorite author is Ayn Rand.”

“You like horror movies, right? You should see Twilight. It’s about vampires.”

“My husband would be pissed if he knew I was flirting with you,” and its corollary, “I guess the counseling isn’t working.”

“I’ve only seen the first three Star Warses, but not the older ones.”

“What does that word mean?”