A Dialogue That Occurred In My Head While Watching A Watchmen TV Spot On VH1 Yesterday

Me: Wait, did that ad seriously try to use Tool Academy to promote Watchmen?

Also Me: I’m afraid it did.  You really shouldn’t go and see this movie, Jeff.

Me: Wait a second.  If the Doctor Manhattan condoms didn’t make me swear off the movie -

Also Me: And the Nite-Owl brand coffee.

Me: I don’t mind the Nite-Owl brand coffee. It’s a movie prop, and the design of it doesn’t suck.  And I’ve always liked the scene in the comics that it calls back to.

Also Me: Whatever.  What about all the toys?  Don’t you think Alan Moore is spinning in his grave?

Me: A) Alan Moore isn’t dead.

Also Me: That doesn’t mean he isn’t in a grave right now.

Me: You know, I never thought about it like that.  B) At first, I was kind of telling myself that the toys were enjoyably ironic.  But really, like this Tool Academy spot and the condoms et al, the toys seem in aggregate to be the result of a scattershot attempt to market something that the marketers don’t really get.

Also Me: Zack Snyder keeps saying that he gets Watchmen.

Me: But he never says what he gets about it, does he?  Early on in college, I played that game with Ulysses all the time to make girls think I was insightful.  And it worked, so good on Snyder, maybe.

Also Me: I really don’t think you should see this movie.  You’re going to regret it.

Me: I don’t know….

TO BE CONTINUED